Thursday, July 29, 2010
No Sleep Till...OGLEBAY!!!
Today at noon begins my departmental retreat at Oglebay resort. This is the first time since I became pregnant with Budgie that I have been separated from him for a night. No overnights to Baba's house without me, no mini vacation getaway weekends with the husband and no kids. Nope, nothing. Every night Budgie falls asleep in his bed on his sheets and his pillow, with me curled up next to him humming his "sleepy song". Yeah, I know...it's good for him that I'm away. He needs the separation time to grow up. Mommy can't be there ALL the time... yadda, yadda, yadda. But Mommy is FREAKING OUT!!!!!
When Beanie was a toddler, I had a job that required me to travel a bit. A bit turned out to be approximately one month per year on the road, split up over several long weekends and one 11-day sojourn. I had to leave her for the 11-day trip (this time, to Orlando) when she was 18 months old. I missed her terribly. I called every morning and every night to talk, which she did (in typical toddler fashion), but I don't think she grasped the concept of Mommy being away and coming back.
I took a special side trip to Downtown Disney JUST to buy her a Mickey Mouse FROM DISNEY (yeah, I know, I'm weird). I carried that thing through the Orlando airport, on the plane, etc.. I had visions of her running to me in the luggage pickup area, screaming, "MOMMEEEEEE!!!" Well, needless to say, that did not happen. She saw me and screamed, "NO, I WANT BABA!!!" And left me standing (with Mickey Mouse in hand), in tears, in the middle of the luggage pickup. My kid HATED me!!! It took several hours and several more gifts dug from my luggage to finally win her back.
Maybe that's what I'm afraid of this time, only with Budgie. I know, it's only one night (and another night on Saturday for my Jersey trip), but the reaction Beanie had nearly 8 years ago has affected me deeply. Granted, he's much older, much more independent, but he is still so reliant on me to be there for him to sing him to sleep at night and tell him funny bedtime stories about Nosey (another story for another time).
I guess it's time to break away and let my baby Budgie fly ... if only for one night.